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Do any of you juggle? I throw balls around every day, trying to keep them in a nice flow, keeping each one feeling light and tossed effortlessly until I catch the next one and toss it again, until I have 3, 4, 5 or maybe 8 balls all flying around up in the air, under complete control.  One ball is my family and their needs, another is my married life, another is work or exercise or sending emails, and so on.  

The truth is, I can't juggle, and the tougher truth is that I am trying to fit my time and my relationship with God in with all the other balls.

Last month, I signed a card, committing myself to reading the Bible and praying for 15 minutes 4 days a week. I, like many of you, strongly feel God's beckoning to fill my thirsty soul with Him and to get to know him deeper. So what steps have I taken? I made myself a weekly schedule, posted it on my bathroom wall so I could refer to it each morning. I highlighted designated time with God, times that realistically would fit into my schedule.

Currently, I am in 2 home groups, so preparing for those helps me get into God's word. That's been very rewarding. It's easy for me to get into study time.  I've spent much of my life studying and learning. But as Pastor Mark quoted in a recent sermon: "To know much and taste nothing is of no value". That hit home. I know I have not allowed myself to go deeper with God.

Also, when I got to the times I actually had designated to spend with the Lord, my mind wandered or I got distracted by something I had to do--another ball to juggle. 

Last week I tried something different. I physically got down on my knees and into a posture of submission on the floor. While doing this, my eyes filled with tears and I confessed to God the harsh reality--that I had made a Holy and sovereign God into one of the things that I juggle around in my life. That day, the time I spent with the Lord was precious and restorative to my relationship with Him. He is so patient, kind, and rich in love. Just as much as I want to know Him more, He too wants my heart.

When there are no juggling balls flying around I bring God complex problems I'm grappling with. These problems become so much lighter when I see God's perspective. He gives me the chance to rest in Him so when I am not distracted, I can get to know His heart. This brings me more in tune with his will as I interact with others every day.

I can see that building this discipline of silence and prayer into my life will take some hard work to change some of my old habits. I will be looking to others such as my husband, and close friends to support me in this and keep me accountable. But I am excited for this gift of time, or mini-sabbath with Jesus to look forward to throughout my week. I think He'll make the juggling so much easier.

Sofia Bayfield